Tag Archives: psychology

The Existential Bummer

I came across this video via Dorothy Black on Twitter and it touched me deeply. I’ve always been caught up in the ephemeral nature of people and relationships and moments. How do we immerse ourselves completely in them, knowing that they don’t last forever and eventually everything and everyone will die? Every lovely moment has a hint of sadness.

Is your ex a psycho? Confessions of a Sociopath – Book Review

Confessions of a Sociopath

A friend told me about Confessions of a Sociopath by M.E. Thomas; a diagnosed sociopath telling her story of how she sees life differently, how she lives her life with a mask of “normalcy” to hide her sociopathic ways from the rest of the world and how she functions (and thrives) in normal society (she also writes a blog: Sociopathworld.com). It provides a raw account of life as one who is misunderstood as a criminal monster because of her lack of the ability to feel guilt, remorse, or empathy and how rules are abided by, not because of moral understanding, but rather because the effects of breaking them are “unfavourable”.

I was sitting one night and thinking, after a particularly frustrating conversation with my ex-boyfriend, trying to figure out how someone can be so emotionally stunted. I could not put my finger on what was so “off” about his reactions (or lack thereof) to any sort of talk or appearance of emotions. I’m not a particularly emotional person myself, but I have worked hard in my life to acknowledge and understand what and how I feel, and how it affects others. I naturally assume that other people are able to do the same, particularly those I have been close to and cared about.

So the next thought for me, in my broken state, was that he must be a sociopath (as one does). I got hold of my friend and immediately borrowed this book to start educating myself.

I was engrossed. It has been a long time since a book has captured my attention like this one did. What I uncovered was a fascinating psychological look into the mind of a person with a label and the genetic brain wiring to have the capacity to do harm to others with no guilt or remorse. She functions and thrives in society, without others needing to know her “secret”. With 1 in 25 people being sociopaths, this could be someone you know, someone you work with, or more likely someone you report to in the corporate world. The traits of a sociopath fit in very well with high-powered executive positions and this book revealed quite a few people to me that I have encountered in my previous corporate life and my personal past, that are quite likely sociopaths. It helped me to understand the way that they think and some of the immoral and unethical behaviour I encountered.

I discovered a few interesting traits about myself in the author, which at first scared me, but I realised that, for example, “nearly everyone in the world has appetites and impulses, trigger emotions, islands of selfishness, lusts just beneath the surface…. most either hold such things in check or indulge them secretly”. It does not make you a sociopath. “I like people. I like to touch them, to mould them and to ruin them.” I don’t have that kind of manipulative streak and no intention to harm others for my own gain. I’m no sociopath. My ex-boyfriend probably isn’t either.

This is a compelling and insightful look into the mind of a functioning, non-criminal sociopath – what could be more interesting?

*Highly recommended

The secret to happiness

Every now and then, I get a few minutes to myself to browse through my favourite YouTube channel – Soul Pancake. When I feel like the world is on top of me and people are assholes, it’s always welcoming to see some nice stuff.

Psychological studies show that one of the greatest contributing factors to happiness is not health, wealth, fame or fortune. It’s GRATITUDE. Watch this video and see for yourself. I’m pondering on carrying out the experiment myself – what do you think? If you take the time and effort to do it, let me know how it goes for you!

People will always let you down

My poor blog is about to be my own personal therapy centre. I apologise in advance.

I recently spoke to a therapist who lectured me about the fact that I don’t lean on friends and family when I need support. I promptly asked her why I should do that because I’m really the only one who is ever actually there for me, so why should I set myself up to be disappointed?

It is not logical to me.

People always say, ‘I’m here for you.’


When I actually take the plunge and decide, okay, maybe I should lean on someone else a bit for support ( as I am told to do) I realise that the wall that is ‘there for me’ is an illusion.

What’s the damn point?

No, Miss Therapist, I disagree with you.

Don’t be fooled, folks, it’s each (wo)man for herself in this world.


Image reference