Tag Archives: mind

3 Reasons why you shouldn’t date your Twitter crush


If you’re fairly active in the social media world, you’re likely enjoying Twitter and the inter-connectedness it offers. You’re meeting new people online and offline and sapping up all the networking that comes with it.

You’ve also likely got a Twitter crush who’s admired for his online status. Here’s why you shouldn’t date him.

1. He’s not what his bio says he his
He makes himself out to be just amazing. Desirable. He’s taken qualities that everyone loves and mashed them together into ‘I’m Mr. Awesome’. He’s likely just a dork in real life, compensating for the attention he missed out on in his pre-digital years.

2. If he’s big on Twitter, he’s only big on Twitter
These guys tend to take their online status VERY seriously. To the point that they actually don’t have all that much real going on offline. Offline, they talk about what’s going on online, ALL the time. They validate their worth by their online following.

3. If he chased you on Twitter, he’s probably chasing someone else there too
Twitter is not a dating site. Guys that use it as one like to break the rules and get a thrill from the chase. Once you’re there in real life, the game is over and it’s time for a new one.

Although social media is an exciting and extremely useful environment to be in, it also provides an easy opportunity for exaggeration and embellishment of the facts. Everyone wants to be noticed, and some are just clever enough to market themselves well so that you to believe what you read.

Don’t fall for the guy on Twitter, fall for the one in real life.

(Granted, neither has worked for me very well, but it sounds like good advice, right?)

Is your ex a psycho? Confessions of a Sociopath – Book Review

Confessions of a Sociopath

A friend told me about Confessions of a Sociopath by M.E. Thomas; a diagnosed sociopath telling her story of how she sees life differently, how she lives her life with a mask of “normalcy” to hide her sociopathic ways from the rest of the world and how she functions (and thrives) in normal society (she also writes a blog: Sociopathworld.com). It provides a raw account of life as one who is misunderstood as a criminal monster because of her lack of the ability to feel guilt, remorse, or empathy and how rules are abided by, not because of moral understanding, but rather because the effects of breaking them are “unfavourable”.

I was sitting one night and thinking, after a particularly frustrating conversation with my ex-boyfriend, trying to figure out how someone can be so emotionally stunted. I could not put my finger on what was so “off” about his reactions (or lack thereof) to any sort of talk or appearance of emotions. I’m not a particularly emotional person myself, but I have worked hard in my life to acknowledge and understand what and how I feel, and how it affects others. I naturally assume that other people are able to do the same, particularly those I have been close to and cared about.

So the next thought for me, in my broken state, was that he must be a sociopath (as one does). I got hold of my friend and immediately borrowed this book to start educating myself.

I was engrossed. It has been a long time since a book has captured my attention like this one did. What I uncovered was a fascinating psychological look into the mind of a person with a label and the genetic brain wiring to have the capacity to do harm to others with no guilt or remorse. She functions and thrives in society, without others needing to know her “secret”. With 1 in 25 people being sociopaths, this could be someone you know, someone you work with, or more likely someone you report to in the corporate world. The traits of a sociopath fit in very well with high-powered executive positions and this book revealed quite a few people to me that I have encountered in my previous corporate life and my personal past, that are quite likely sociopaths. It helped me to understand the way that they think and some of the immoral and unethical behaviour I encountered.

I discovered a few interesting traits about myself in the author, which at first scared me, but I realised that, for example, “nearly everyone in the world has appetites and impulses, trigger emotions, islands of selfishness, lusts just beneath the surface…. most either hold such things in check or indulge them secretly”. It does not make you a sociopath. “I like people. I like to touch them, to mould them and to ruin them.” I don’t have that kind of manipulative streak and no intention to harm others for my own gain. I’m no sociopath. My ex-boyfriend probably isn’t either.

This is a compelling and insightful look into the mind of a functioning, non-criminal sociopath – what could be more interesting?

*Highly recommended

The secret to happiness

Every now and then, I get a few minutes to myself to browse through my favourite YouTube channel – Soul Pancake. When I feel like the world is on top of me and people are assholes, it’s always welcoming to see some nice stuff.

Psychological studies show that one of the greatest contributing factors to happiness is not health, wealth, fame or fortune. It’s GRATITUDE. Watch this video and see for yourself. I’m pondering on carrying out the experiment myself – what do you think? If you take the time and effort to do it, let me know how it goes for you!

If you love something, set it free… wat se kak is dit?

So here is one thing I’ve never really understood:

Soource: send2smiles.com

Source: send2smiles.com

Why should you have to let something go that you love and makes you happy?

Wat se kak is dit?


Source: someecards.com

Source: someecards.com

Screw you, Universe.

Source: my.opera.com

Source: my.opera.com


Nice? Can you spell that?

It struck me this past week, when I was being email-attacked by a client’s vendor, that people have forgotten how to be nice. Are the days of friendliness and adult conversations really gone? Have people forgotten their manners and what their parents tried so hard to teach them? We’re all fighting our own battles out there, granted, but there are these WTF moments in life that take my mind into a world of sharks and villains and downright nastiness.

So the big question is: WHY? Honestly, why? Why do people feel the need to take out their anger on other people? Why do they feel the need to mask their insecurities with accusations of blame? Why do they feel the need to push people into the mud-pit for challenging them?

I can’t actually answer those questions, but I can tell you that despite the way that I have been treated on occasions in my life, I do believe that people are inherently good. For some, it just lies a shit load deeper than in others.

So I challenge you! Soul Pancake shared a video late last year that inspired people on the street to compliment each other and I thought it was really cute. And relevant to me right now. What if we were to compliment someone, instead of berating them? What if we told people the good things we thought about them instead of focusing on the bad? (Yes, some people really are just assholes, but I’m pretty sure that there is something in them that is good, you’ll just have to look really really really deep.) Don’t you think it would change their lives in a teensy weensy little way that can create a bigger positive change as a result?

Random words of wisdom – from the mouths of the monks #GoThai

Whilst being stuck in Chiang Mai, hanging around the city, I visited one of the many temples in the city (Wat Pra Singh) to pass the time. Having been to Thailand before and done the whole ‘visit the temples’ thing, I wasn’t too excited about it, but this temple was actually really interesting as you could wander around the temple grounds, discovering random words of wisdom pinned to the trees.

Here are some that I found quite interesting. I hope that you find something here that speaks to you.

Smile when it’s raining

Love this

The one constant in life is change

The one constant in life is change

The universe, from atom to galaxy, is in a perpetual state of flux
We humans, don’t like change
We fight it
It scares  us
So we create the illusion of stasis
We want to believe in a world at rest
The world of right now
Yet our great paradox remains the same
The moment we grasp the now, that now is gone
We claim the snapshots, but life is moving pictures
Time forces us to grow
To adapt
Because every time we blink our eyes, the world shifts beneath our feet.

– “Touch” Season 1 Episode 12

*Thoughts to those in the US affected by Hurricane Sandy

You know you’ve made it when…

I came across this competition yesterday from Oudemeester:

[Cool idea for a campaign. The winners get a bottle of Demant, Crystal glasses and a diamond. Pretty sauve. See their Facebook page or Twitter for more details.]

Diamonds aside, this got me thinking.

How do you know when you’ve made it? 

I posed the question on my Facebook page and expected my numbnut friends to come up with some ridonculous ideas of wealth and success. I remember once paging through a lifestyle magazine (yes, once upon a time there were things called magazines and they were printed on paper), and saw a house with a beautiful wild forest garden. In this fairy garden paradise was an open air kitchen and dining area. I cut out the picture and stuck it on my fridge and told myself that you know you’ve made it when you have an outdoor kitchen in your forest fairy garden.

Although that would be bloody marvelous and I wouldn’t say no to having one if I had the means, in all honesty there are much deeper and more satisfactory signs that you’ve made it in life.

Here are some of my Facebook friends answers to my status “You know you’ve made it when…”

  • you don’t need to brag about your ‘achievements’ on Facebook anymore
  • you have a penis butler
  • ‎……. you’re happy
  • you can look back and actually be proud of what you have achieved and how far you have come…
  • you get back to the stable and your T-shirt isn’t full of dirt at the back (from falling off a horse)!
  • …you no longer need Facebook to complete your sentences.
  • all the things you dream of come true… It is an ongoing thing for me, not just a single moment
  • people don’t judge you for doing arb things like eating a bacon, asparagus and mayonaise salad. They think you’re starting a trend.

Okay, so besides the penis butler comment (not sure what that is all about?) it looks like I have some pretty sensible Facebook friends. Nobody mentioned a forest fairy garden kitchen, though. I must be wrong.

So, Oudemeester, although I haven’t entered your competition as I don’t have a bottle of Demant in my hand, here is my answer to your question:


How do you know when you’ve made it?


  • When the things most important to you in your life have never been bought
  • When the greatest joy in your life is seeing pure joy in the face of someone else and knowing that you helped make that happen
  • When you look into the face of fear and say “Yippeee!”. No matter how bad the situation, you know that there is always a way.
  • When you find happiness in every day

How do you know when you’ve made it?

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