Tag Archives: life

The Existential Bummer

I came across this video via Dorothy Black on Twitter and it touched me deeply. I’ve always been caught up in the ephemeral nature of people and relationships and moments. How do we immerse ourselves completely in them, knowing that they don’t last forever and eventually everything and everyone will die? Every lovely moment has a hint of sadness.

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Dear Joburg, I’m annoyed with you

barbed-wire

Dear Joburg,

I’ve had some time to think about our relationship while we were on a break, and I’ve decided that I am not okay with how things are going.

Your roads are death traps. Aggression, aggression, aggression. At every intersection, main road, side street, quiet lane, anywhere I venture out in my car I am met with aggression mixed with stupidity. I refuse to speed up way past the speed limit because some wanktard is in a hurry and driving up my ass. Unauthorised back-entry is rude, my friend, and not socially acceptable. Leave 5 minutes earlier if you need to, but don’t make it my problem. I also refuse to drive through a red traffic light because you are hooting behind me. It’s red. Red means stop, fool. I don’t care that the road is clear enough for me to sneak through. It’s a red traffic light. Did they not teach you that in nursery school? Should we take you back there?

I don’t enjoy waiting at my driveway for 10 minutes while the taxi blocks the entire entrance while it offloads and on-loads far too many people than is safe. And you’re IN MY DRIVEWAY!

I don’t enjoy the competition to be the best, the biggest, the richest, drive the sexiest car, have the most Twitter followers, be retweeted by some lonely dork behind his Mac who happens to be big online, or to define my worth by the brands I wear or associate with.

I don’t enjoy that shopping is an activity. And that smacking a wannabe model into a promotional campaign to help you dress yourself is actually exciting. I don’t enjoy that there is a handful of people that you HAVE to associate with to boost your reputation and to get the “favours” you need to succeed. I don’t like that you can hardly trust a Joburg blogger these days because they’re likely being paid or getting free products for everything they write and sincerity no longer exists.

I don’t enjoy that your men think that women are objects and have forgotten how to care about anything other than their image and the way that others perceive them. When did you become a cesspool of douchebaggery?

I don’t like that I am constantly on guard, wandering what people’s ulterior motives are or what they’re looking to steal from me.

I think we should break up.


3 Reasons why you shouldn’t date your Twitter crush

www.heliosdesign.co.za

If you’re fairly active in the social media world, you’re likely enjoying Twitter and the inter-connectedness it offers. You’re meeting new people online and offline and sapping up all the networking that comes with it.

You’ve also likely got a Twitter crush who’s admired for his online status. Here’s why you shouldn’t date him.

1. He’s not what his bio says he his
He makes himself out to be just amazing. Desirable. He’s taken qualities that everyone loves and mashed them together into ‘I’m Mr. Awesome’. He’s likely just a dork in real life, compensating for the attention he missed out on in his pre-digital years.

2. If he’s big on Twitter, he’s only big on Twitter
These guys tend to take their online status VERY seriously. To the point that they actually don’t have all that much real going on offline. Offline, they talk about what’s going on online, ALL the time. They validate their worth by their online following.

3. If he chased you on Twitter, he’s probably chasing someone else there too
Twitter is not a dating site. Guys that use it as one like to break the rules and get a thrill from the chase. Once you’re there in real life, the game is over and it’s time for a new one.

Although social media is an exciting and extremely useful environment to be in, it also provides an easy opportunity for exaggeration and embellishment of the facts. Everyone wants to be noticed, and some are just clever enough to market themselves well so that you to believe what you read.

Don’t fall for the guy on Twitter, fall for the one in real life.

(Granted, neither has worked for me very well, but it sounds like good advice, right?)


Help you help yourself – an entrepreneurial lesson

Once upon a time I blogged about how awesome it is to be an entrepreneur and also the challenges I face on a daily basis. I promised to share some of these with you, but I have failed taken my time to get to it (it is a swear word in the entrepreneurial world to use the “f” word – you don’t fail, you just change direction).

Well, dear readers, here is the deal right now. This is me:

http://www.mythicrhythm.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/FrazzledCat.jpg

I know it is hard to tell, but if you look closely you will see it. I did this to myself.

I am an accountant, bookkeeper, secretary, copywriter, web designer, graphic designer, social media strategist, social media community manager, web developer, marketing strategist, business owner, freelancer, advertiser, media agency, relationship manager, account manager, business analyst, salesman, missing aunt and birthday-forgetting friend.

A friend asked me recently what the most difficult part of being an entrepreneur is and this is my answer: ‘Coming to terms with the fact that you can’t do everything yourself’. When it is your own business and your passion, it is so difficult to hand over responsibility of any part of it to someone else. You don’t think that they can care about it as much as you do. You don’t trust other people with your “child”.

So here’s the first lesson at entrepreneur school: “You can’t do everything yourself”. Find trusted partners and suppliers and build those relationships. That way, you can feel comfortable to hand over what others are capable of doing for you. It seems expensive at first, and when you’re starting out you really don’t have the money to outsource anything. The key is to understand what you can outsource, exactly what it costs, trust your supplier and build it into your costs to your client.

I’m by no means there yet, but at least I’ve learnt this lesson and am taking steps to get there.

*Cue: Someone buy me a freaking drink.


There are bigger things in life than #FirstWorldProblems

I had the most eye-opening Mandela Day experience with Dlala Nje last Thursday. In the midst of having a ‘woe is me’ few days, I pulled it all together and went to help Dlala Nje out with their Hillbrow blanket walk and party for the Ponte kids at Maboneng.

We started the afternoon off by taking some blankets to those living in a park near Ponte City, hailed “Junkie Park” for obvious reasons. There is only one word to describe what I saw and experienced: HECTIC. These people literally live in the park and are hopelessly addicted to a drug or few. Walking in there was like walking into heavy smog, although it was a clear day. Desperate eyes look at you – the kind of desperation that I have never (and will never have) experienced in my life. Behind those eyes was darkness. It was chilling. They swarmed us as we started to hand out blankets. Desperate.

As we walked away from there, someone called out “they’re only going to sell those for drugs, you know”. They’re probably right. At least the sold blanket will end up keeping someone warm, I guess.

Next up was to round up the kids living in Ponte Towers and to go on a walk through Hillbrow, handing out blankets to the homeless along the way. More desperate eyes were met. People fought with each other for them. For a BLANKET. It was touching to see the kids take the blankets off their backs (it was a pretty chilly afternoon) and give it to those that needed it more than them. We dodged man-holes along the way (the covers are stolen to sell to scrap metal dealers) and stopped kids from falling into sewerage. This is their neighbourhood.

When we reached Fox Street, where the Maboneng District had prepared a party for the kids in the area, the little boy next to me lit up when he saw the jumping castle. “Is that a jumping castle?” he said. “Yes, it’s lots of fun, hey?” “I don’t know, I’ve never been on one.” He was ordered to immediately take his shoes off and jump on. He ran for that jumping castle, with the biggest holes in his socks I have ever seen (he might as well have not been wearing any), with pure joy that I have not seen in a long time.

I left there feeling humbled and emotional. And grateful for the life that I have. My woes were small in comparison to what so many people in our country experience and overcome every single day of their lives.

If every one of us just gave something to the desperate community on our doorstep, or even better, helped to empower others, it will go a long way in making our country more bearable for a lot of people. Pay it forward.

There are bigger things in life than #FirstWorldProblems.


If you love something, set it free… wat se kak is dit?

So here is one thing I’ve never really understood:

Soource: send2smiles.com

Source: send2smiles.com

Why should you have to let something go that you love and makes you happy?

Wat se kak is dit?

 

Source: someecards.com

Source: someecards.com

Screw you, Universe.

Source: my.opera.com

Source: my.opera.com

 


Why single on Valentines Day really is okay


heart
So it is officially the run-up to Valentine’s Day, or as my friend @sadhcrazy likes to call it, ‘Single Awareness Day’. Because that is exactly what it is to us singletons. A day when couples all over the world are showering each other with love and affection (whether they want to or not), while us singletons come up with something to do that evening to shift the focus away from being single again on Valentines Day.

Well I’d like to tell you why that is exactly what I would like to be doing on this auspicious occasion.

I often get the whole ‘Candice, why are you still single’ enquiry. Like it is an unbelievable state of being for ‘someone like me’. Let me give you a brief run-down of some of my recent romantic encounters and I think that will answer that question (names have obviously been changed for anonymity reasons).

Let’s start with ‘Juan’. Juan is the boyfriend that every girl wants. Juan wants to massage your feet while you watch TV and run you a bath after you’ve had a really hard day. Juan also likes to flip a switch in his brain at any given moment to turn into a screaming, swearing, searing dragon. You can turn from ‘gorgeous angel’ to ‘heinous bitch’ in 3,4 seconds, if you just choose Juan as your long term partner. You don’t even need to do anything.

Enter Jeffrey. Jeffrey is sauve. Jeffrey has money and loves to spend it. On you. Whatever you want. Jeffrey also sucks up your soul and owns you. Jeffrey has his talons in your chest and rips and turns them every time that it seems like you’re going to escape. But don’t worry, the brand new Gucci shades hide the screaming pain behind your eyes.

And Dave. Dave is confident. Dave is friends with everyone. Dave is fun and Dave is connected. Dave only knows how to think about Dave. Even the amount of times I’ve mentioned Dave in this sentence can’t possibly be enough for Dave. Dave likes bums. Dave is obsessed with bums. You should be honoured to have Dave grab your bum. What do you mean, you’re not interested? Dave is big on Twitter, for goodness sake.

Do I need to continue? I have loads more where that came from.

So I think it is now fairly obvious as to why I am thoroughly relieved (read ecstatic) to be single on Valentines Day.

Life is too short to be stuck in an unhappy relationship. That’s my quote. Be sure to credit me.