Look at my guns, boet

Life is hectic. Especially at this time of the year. I don’t know about you, but with me it seems like everyone woke up to the fact that they haven’t achieved everything they intended to this year, and need to squish it all into the last month. I have been insanely busy.

Sometimes we just need a boost to get us through.

I recently attended the XS Power Drink launch at Jozi X – an adventure centre in Bryanston which I’ve been wanting to attempt for a long time (due to lazy friends, I hadn’t been to the park up until then).

We were told to “dress comfortably for an afternoon of adventure”. So I promptly asked if we were going to win prizes from our activities (of which the answer was “Yes, awesome prizes”) and thus rocked up in full gym gear, ready to win. Because I like to win. I must win.

Popcorncandi

A few of these babies later, I was ready to WIN the obstacle course, which they reckon was pretty mild, but it was HARD, people, HARD.Lemon_Straight300dpi

JoziX

Fuelled with all the energy stuff that they pack into these drinks, I obviously beat the big guy I was up against, because I am a machine. I mean, check out these guns!

Popcorncandi2

Popcorncandi3

And yes, my team won (obvs). I think we probably had more XS Power Drinks than the other guys…

Popcorncandi Winning

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So the low-down on the drink itself? It tastes good (unlike other energy drinks out there), is low in calories, contains no sugar and is high in Vitamin B. It’s available only from Amway – you can get it online at www.amway.co.za. It’s available in SA in Electric Lemon Blast and Tropical Blast flavours (I enjoyed both and then enjoyed both again).

*All photos courtesy of XS Power Drink and Fleishman, you can contact me for more details.

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Make a big difference this Christmas with Dlala Nje

The guys down at Dlala Nje in Ponte City are hosting their annual Christmas party for the children living there and in the surrounding areas and orphanages of Hillbrow, Yeoville and Berea on 6 December 2013.

[If you haven’t already heard of these guys, do yourself a favour and explore their website. Two “white okes” move into Ponte City and start making a difference in the lives of the community – it’s unreal what they have accomplished and how they have changed the perceptions of inner city Joburg.]

Nonetheless, the matter at hand is the Christmas party. Last year’s party was a rip-roaring success and you will not believe the amount of hopeful little faces playing outside on the concrete, getting their faces painted and waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap and get a present (likely the only present they received for Christmas).

I wrote about the experience last year too – check it out here.

This year’s season is upon us and we’d LOVE for some support in the form of gifts or even volunteers to help on the day (second hand toys are also welcome). Please get in touch with them directly, or me, if you would like to help out. It will make such a difference to their lives – you just don’t realise it yet.


The Existential Bummer

I came across this video via Dorothy Black on Twitter and it touched me deeply. I’ve always been caught up in the ephemeral nature of people and relationships and moments. How do we immerse ourselves completely in them, knowing that they don’t last forever and eventually everything and everyone will die? Every lovely moment has a hint of sadness.


My Sanity

Running

I LOVE my exercise. I can’t cope without it. It’s my sanity, my health regulator and helps me fit into my bikini (somewhat). It makes me happy.

I went into this year with a big problem. I had been having years of lower back pain after exercise, due to some sort of lower back disc issue that I can’t fathom to try and explain in normal human language. I had just started running and was IN LOVE with it, training for my first 10km ever and feeling on top of the world. Until my back gave in again and I was back at the physio in excruciating pain. I was told to give up the running and any sort of impact sports – my lower back just can’t cope with it.

I moaned about it a lot, having a go at all the fat, lazy people who have perfectly healthy spinal discs that don’t want to exercise. A friend suggested I try biokinetics, after it had helped him when he had been told he’d never run again, and then did.

I walked into the closest biokinetics centre and decided to give it a go. Sarah-Jane took me on and probably thought I was a little nuts just walking in and saying ‘I have no idea what this is all about, but can you help me run again?’. She promised that she would. Like it was nothing. ‘Yeah right’ I thought. But gave it a try in any case.

It’s been about 9 months of stretching, strengthening, aligning and stabilising. I’ve been doing my exercise programs every day (even the ones I hate) and taken on swimming as my main form of exercise (which I first thought was naff, but started to really enjoy it). Every biokinetics session assessed my progress and pushed me on at a pace that my body was happy with. It turned out that all my core and back supporting muscles were in essence, not functioning at all, and my injured lower back was taking all the strain – over and over again. We worked on fixing this.

So here is the announcement, ladies and gentlemen, I have just recently been given the go-ahead to start jogging again. This is a huge success. I feel a trillion times stronger than when I first walked into the centre that day, wincing in pain. I’ve had a few jogging sessions already and not one single sign of any pain or distress in my back. It feels incredible and I have no doubt that I will be running again very soon – something I didn’t think I would ever do again.

It’s amazing what your body can achieve with patience, hard work and the right professional guiding you.

I still can’t actually tell you what biokinetics is (it’s such a silly word), but I can tell you that Humphry and Healey Biokinetics have helped me so tremendously with my injury that I would suggest every single one of you go and see them if you have a sports or movement related issue.


The low-down on online dating. I tried it. It sucked.

love-online-dating-heart

Over a coffee catch-up with a friend, we decided that this whole single thing is BS and we should try online dating. I didn’t see myself as an online dater (I had the impression that it is for some serious dorks with no people skills who can’t really make it out there in the real world), but having a partner in crime and a ‘what’s there to lose’ attitude, I decided to give it a go. We set up our dating profiles and carried on with our lives.

Checking back a few days later, I realised I was a hit! Mostly with guys who were looking for a one night stand, couldn’t spell, or thought that telling me I’m beautiful and sexy is a great opening line.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B:

Exhibit B

Exhibit C:

Exhibit C

I got hit on by a guy called “iaretarded” and received a very interesting proposal from a woman who said that she and her husband checked me out and really liked what they saw – would I like to meet them?

I did chat to some seemingly decent human beings. I agreed to go on a real life date with one of them. He turned out to be about half a metre shorter than his profile said he was and looked nothing like his profile picture. He also got lost 3 times to the restaurant (which is in his own area), brought his own wine and bored me to death.

I ummed and aahed about accepting another real life date proposal with another seemingly decent human being, but gave it a go. I landed a big project on date day, so had to postpone. He then went mental on me, calling me all sorts of names and really tried hard to make me feel bad about it. Wow.

I am also apparently very attractive to Middle Eastern businessmen who would love to have some company on their South African trip. All expenses paid – I just need to agree and we can hang out in their very expensive hotel, drinking champagne.

After a month or two of this madness, I shut down all my dating profiles, never to be visited again. After chatting to some other friends who tried online dating, I realised that I got out just in time. Apparently I was a message or two away from penis pictures in my face. IN MY FACE.

That being said, the friend who signed up with me in the beginning met an amazing woman, they are now crazy in love and he is very happy. She is also very normal.

And that, my friends, is the reality of online dating. It may work for some, but it is definitely not for me! I truly believe in the magic of meeting and connecting with a person in real life. You don’t get that online.


Oh my cuteness! Newborn panda twins’ first 100 days

I feel like my last few posts have been way too serious, so here’s something so cute, your heart will explode!

Watch newborn panda twins’ first 100 days.


Dear Joburg, I’m annoyed with you

barbed-wire

Dear Joburg,

I’ve had some time to think about our relationship while we were on a break, and I’ve decided that I am not okay with how things are going.

Your roads are death traps. Aggression, aggression, aggression. At every intersection, main road, side street, quiet lane, anywhere I venture out in my car I am met with aggression mixed with stupidity. I refuse to speed up way past the speed limit because some wanktard is in a hurry and driving up my ass. Unauthorised back-entry is rude, my friend, and not socially acceptable. Leave 5 minutes earlier if you need to, but don’t make it my problem. I also refuse to drive through a red traffic light because you are hooting behind me. It’s red. Red means stop, fool. I don’t care that the road is clear enough for me to sneak through. It’s a red traffic light. Did they not teach you that in nursery school? Should we take you back there?

I don’t enjoy waiting at my driveway for 10 minutes while the taxi blocks the entire entrance while it offloads and on-loads far too many people than is safe. And you’re IN MY DRIVEWAY!

I don’t enjoy the competition to be the best, the biggest, the richest, drive the sexiest car, have the most Twitter followers, be retweeted by some lonely dork behind his Mac who happens to be big online, or to define my worth by the brands I wear or associate with.

I don’t enjoy that shopping is an activity. And that smacking a wannabe model into a promotional campaign to help you dress yourself is actually exciting. I don’t enjoy that there is a handful of people that you HAVE to associate with to boost your reputation and to get the “favours” you need to succeed. I don’t like that you can hardly trust a Joburg blogger these days because they’re likely being paid or getting free products for everything they write and sincerity no longer exists.

I don’t enjoy that your men think that women are objects and have forgotten how to care about anything other than their image and the way that others perceive them. When did you become a cesspool of douchebaggery?

I don’t like that I am constantly on guard, wandering what people’s ulterior motives are or what they’re looking to steal from me.

I think we should break up.